Rants of the lady Blog

Bullying: In My Words. (Amended)

January 19, 2010 at 1:15 am (Uncategorized) (Adults., Bullying, Children, Depression, Education, Society)

Bullying: In My Words.

Writer: Amy E Phillips

Since I was small my mind has had a different concept of life, I didn’t think when I felt and thought like that it would lead to a school life of hell. The fear I felt as a school child wasn’t normal to me but as I went along it became normal behaviour to me, it was like second nature to me; the type’s of bullying I was subjected to where:

• Verbal: Name calling, being threatened/made to feel bad.
• Physical: Hit, knocked, has torn clothes. Has personal belongings stolen.
• Mental: Intimidated.
• Cyber: Bullied via networking sites, instant messing, emails and mobile phones.

It became normal to be silent it was the only way I knew I could protect myself from these’s evil human being’s that where taking over my life. I lost the true meaning of being someone with feelings and emotions, I was being adapted into a robot of un-emotion, and I was being controlled by something I couldn’t turn off. There was never anyone I could turn to or I could trust to confide in, the way I was treated through out my school life was in my eye’s was a witch’s hunt! One day I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a girl trying to fight back but my outside wasn’t letting me so I stopped trying.

Bullying Facts

• There are an estimated 160,000 children missing school every day due to the dear of attack of intimidation by other student’s.
• One in seven student’s are either a bully or victim
• 71% of student’s have reported seeing bullying in their school.

As I entered secondary school my bullying experience didn’t get any easier, and for me was nothing I had been subjected to in primary school; this for me was torture I didn’t think children could behave this way towards their own. My strange quiet behaviour started to stand out to my family, which I was un-aware of until they asked me if I was being bullied, my first reaction was to say NO, but I found the courage to say YES as I felt the right people to confide in where always there I just didn’t see it.
My behaviour to my family where in summary, not talking, staying in my bedroom, not acting my usual self, this was my way to hide my feelings as I never wanted people to see the pain I was being exposed to.  When I confided in my family I felt like the burden of hiding the shame had been lifted from my shoulder’s and I could start re-building myself back to who I was before I was trampled on!
To have my families support was such an embracing thing I could have needed at that time, as my life moved on and I become to see the world as a unique but sometimes a spine-chilling place I stopped seeing myself as a victim and now a survivor.

People who are bullied feel like there is no one they can trust due to fear of appearing weak, and what I say to them a victim and someone who is still being effected still today from my past, there are people out there you can trust and confide in, and they wont judge you because of it I believe we all should embrace the uniqueness we were born with and to not feel ashamed to express that! It wasn’t easy for me to tell anyone, I didn’t think the person I would tell was going to be my family, but it get’s better!
I remember the first day my secondary school heard me say I was being bullied they didn’t believe me and it carried on until it got worse and the most farcical thing I have seen is the month after, I returned to school the wall by the main entrance was plastered with Anti-Bullying poster’s, it did make me giggle somewhat as the month before they didn’t believe such a horrid act could be acted upon in the school.
It has made me wonder is there any other school’s out there with no sense of what is really happening in the playground when the teacher’s aren’t looking, bullying always know when to attack as I now see them as horrid human being’s that need to learn the one word ‘Respect’ they are very smart. But the world they live in will come crashing down on them; if we stick together we can Stop Bullying!

My life is more balanced as in I am more open-minded about this society but I see it’s fault’s which do need sorting, before they become even worse. Since my experience of being bullied I have to suffer with the effect’s I cannot change to  my mental stage, I suffer with severe depression which I cope with the best as I can, but it isn’t easy but that is another story. I always think I need to better myself, but I have become to see that I can be who I want to be without people thinking I am strange, the one thing I hold dear to my heart is I’m perfect no matter where I go in life or what I choose to become in this world!
I wanted to write this article not so much as a life story but an advice column for victim’s to see they aren’t alone and there are people they can turn to with confidence and also for the bullies to look over and see what their horrid act’s and behaviour do to people not just for a short period of time but for the rest of their lives. There is a positive from the bad; I know at times it doesn’t feel there are ends to the tunnel but believe me there is. It’s a long journey sometimes but we can get there together, always believe in yourself, and believe there is a trustworthy person out there you can confide in.
We can beat bullying; we just need to have more education, help and support for each parties involved and stick to the fact that we are human beings with RIGHTS.

Links:
http://www.bullying.co.uk
http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Bullying/Pages/Bullying.aspx
http://www.bullyonline.org
http://www.textsomeone.com
http://www.beatbullying.org

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